Me and Sappho

Watching my painting about Sappho and the girl who had to leave her and the island of Lesbos I wish it was me next to this Sappho

Reincarnation

The baby, coming to Earth from the cosmic portal of the spirits, acrylics on canvas painting

Promisses, then and now

Promises oil on canvas painting

12 years ago I've made the ball point pen drawing below. I was just a teenager dreaming about the love she was not allowed to have. I've made this imagining it's only me and her next to the sea. The city with it's people is far away and it's just the two of us. She, the blond woman with short hair in the right, is giving me a flower, the flower of love, promising me she will love me forever. Blue butterflies fly around us and dolphins play in the sea water.

Now, after so many years, I've made an oil on canvas painting about this teenage dream story 

The life of a lesbian in Romania

Sometimes I feel so lonely and sad and all I need is love, the love I am not allowed to have here in Romania, here in this God damn country where the retrograd orthodox church is governing our lives next to the corupt politicians who should all be in prison not in the parlament and now they want to make a homophobic constitution and two women cannot be together be cause here women are not really independent. Here a woman's succes depends on the men she has relationships with, not on her work. I have a lot of female friends who don't even have a job and all the successful women I know have men behind them, business men or men with important jobs. I've never meet a business woman or a woman with a well paid who is a lesbian or a single woman.

Do you know why? Be cause they have no chance in this fucking society, be cause they are discriminated all the time, be cause there are a lot of companies where the boss fires women who don't want to sleep with him. I know from my own experience. I've never liked boys and I've never had a boyfriend and I work hard just to keep myself on the lowest survival line and pay my bills and for other women like me it's even harder. I've had a girlfriend who was in a desperate situation. She has lost her job and her family was not accepting her and she had nothing, and that's what happens to most of us. We loose our jobs or we can never find a job and our homophobic relatives don't accept as as we are and that's why we can never have relationships. We have no place that is ours, nothing and to be together we must pay the price of loosing everything and remaining on the streets with no job, no money, no house, nothing. We work hard and we can never have our own house from our own work, we cannot even rent a flat to live together. We loose our jobs or we can never find a job and our homophobic relatives don't accept as as we are and that's why we can never have relationships There is an economical discrimination of women here in Romania, not only lesbians, all the women who don't have influent boyfriends or husbands.

A painting about two girls who try to stay together in a hostile world, on a n unstable ground, so fragile, so vulnerable

I've made all of these drawings and paintings in my lonely and sad moments when I could only dream about the love I cannot have. I can only paint imagining I am next to the woman I love, that's all I can do, living alone in this intolerant society.

The tree of love

The tree of love, a painting I've made using only coffee and sugar

The poet Sappho, the Pleiades and the moon

The poet Sappho, the Pleiades and the moon, oil on canvas painting

The moon has set 

And the Pleiades; 

It is midnight, 

The time is going by, 

 And I sleep alone. 

This is Sappho's midnight poem. This poem has inspired me to make the painting above, a painting of a lonely Sappho watching the Pleiades and the moon while they set at midnight.

Recently the UTA researchers have dated this poem between January 25 and March 31.
Sappho has written this poem feeling lonely, as lonely as I feel, that feeling of loneliness that we all have when we cannot be with the one we love or we want to love.

Me with my paintings in the garden with artists in Bucharest

You can see this paintings in the Icon's garden park this weekend