Friday, May 26, 2017

Her blue eyes

I miss her blues eyes looking at me like that, making me feel the desire, making me feel loved like never before.
I've made the drawing above imagining she is looking at me with those blue eyes and I feel that rush again.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Sunday, May 21, 2017

The intelligence of nature

I've made this painting now. It's a painting about the vegetal intelligence, the intelligence of matter, intelligence of nature

Monday, May 15, 2017

Ruby Rose

A friend who is a big fan of Ruby Rose has asked me to paint this portrait. I like Ruby Rose too. She reminds me of a woman I once loved, the first butch in my life, her blue eyes, her tall stature, her short dark hair, her attitude, they all remind me of her. Yes, she looked like Ruby and I liked her so much but there was something terrible she was hiding from me, something I cannot forgive her for.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Friday, May 12, 2017

The tree of the light or the retina



A few days ago I've made the drawing above. I wated to draw a tree like biological structure and I've made the drawing while I was looking somewhere else. Starting from the drawing I've made a painting. My tree in the light looks like the blood vessels in the retina and I decided to call it the tree of the light.

Rainbow tears, the making of a fluorescent painting



This is my painting "Rainbow tears", a fluorescent acrylics on canvas painting about the pain I feel living alone in a society that doesn't allow me to be myself, love and be loved.


Thursday, May 11, 2017

Rainbow tears

Rainbow tears

11.05.2017
16:19



In a black and white world my eye wants to see the colors of the rainbow and it cries 😿 rainbow 🌈 tears, tears coming out of a deep pain of the loneliness I am forced to live in, condemned by an intolerant society

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Rainbow tears

In a black and white world my eye wants to see a rainbow and I cry rainbow tears. I cry for equality. I cry for human rights. I cry for my right to live a real life and love. I cry hoping for a better world 
This is my latest ball point pen drawing

Monday, May 8, 2017

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Connection

Connection

06.05.2017
16:46



I've made the painting above these days. It's a painting about connection, the tree, symbol of the ego with it's roots in one world, the big star of consciousness. The mother-star and it's branches around another star, another soul, another entity.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Waterfall in the moonlight, a dream I had 2 days ago

Two days ago I had this dream about a waterfall in the moonlight

A painting and a strange phoenomenon

I've made this painting yesterday and while I was painting it my mind was travelling to Greece. Iwas thinking about Athens. I was thinking about the Monastiraki square, the streets of Athens and the Mediteranean Sea.  Then I was thinking about Egypt and I've seen a short thin Egyptian woman in the human silhouette I was painting.



I wanted to paint a flame that resembles the shape of the human body but I ended up painting a woman with oriental facial features. with a clear face. I wanted to make her look happy but her face was sad. I tried  to paint again over what I painted but sadness and tears remained there every time I tried to change the look of her face. I tried to paint her long dark hair but I just could not paint it.
Then I used the paintbrush to paint without looking at the canvas and instead of painting the hair I covered her head with a veil made of silk, so smooth, so soft. Finally the sadness on her face has disappeared, being replaced by a meditative state of mind.
The I felt something is missing, the holly moon above, so I painted the moon too.


You can watch me painting in the video below.

Making of a painting - The rebirth of the divine feminine




Tuesday, May 2, 2017

My dream of a waterfall in the moonlight

Yesterday I had a dream about a waterfall in the moonlight so I've made this drawing of the image in my dream

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Beta pictoris, painting


On friday I've made a painting of the Beta Pictoris star in the Pictor constellation, the dust disk around it and the planet Beta Pictoris b.  I've also made sone ball point pen drawings of this system.

In the video below you can watch me making the painting of Beta Pictoris

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Desire

These are the drawings and painting I've made being inspired by the poem "Dorinta" (desire) by the Romanian poet Mihai Eminescu, since the year 2000. I really fell in love with the young girl with long blond hair he was writing his poems about. He loved her. She died when she was just 19 and that has left a deep pain in Eminescu's soul. He wrote many poems about his loss.
I've made this drawings and paintings imagining she is next to me so I can feel her in my arms, touch her, kiss her.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

I don't wanna be troubled again


I don't wanna be troubled again, like I was in high-school when I've made this drawing imagining I can love and be loved like anyone else does, just imagining because I was not allowed to really live my life. By that time I was so lonely, being rejected and even bullied by the kids at school because I was not dating boys. I've never liked boys.  I was just 15 when I've made this. This drawing was like a file in diary to me and now it's a memory and that's why I keep it like I do with all of my drawings. Even if they have no artistic and estetic value they have a sentimental value for me. It was the spring of 2002. By that time the drawing was hidden. I was afraid. I was even afraid of my parents. I was so scared and miserable all the time but somewhere deep within there was hope, hope things will change and we will live in a better world, hope someday I will find that love and feel it, not only dream and make drawings about it, hope one day she will come into my life.

Things have changed slowly here in Romania but I am still single, living with my parents. I've never been with someone for more than one month. People have become more tolerant allowing me to live without feeling that fear and despair all the time and I've managed to have my own social life and make some friends who accept me as I am e but I still cannot be in  a relationship with a woman because here in Romania two women cannot be together. The only form of cohabitation recognized by the state is marriage between a man and a woman. These is still some fragile progress but I am so afraid things might go backwards now when christian right forces rise here in Romania and they want to change the constitution.
I am so afraid and I don't want to suffer again like I did before. I don't wanna go back to that. It was so hard for me to get out of it.

Monday, April 24, 2017

I wish she was sleeping next to me

I've made this pencil drawing now. I wish this woman was real, sleeping next to me but I am still lonely longing for her love

Sunday, April 23, 2017

My dream of a woman in the ancient Egypt

Long time ago I dreamed the image in this drawing, a mysterious woman in the ancient Egypt, kind of a princess, at the triangular entrance of a big building, maybe a pyramid.

Virus

On Friday my aunt has made some random drawings of something that looks like a virus with and icosahedra shaped capsid and a circular nuclear acid molecule inside. Yesterday my cousin got a flu. Coincidence or premonition? We don't know but this has inspired me to make the drawing above.


Saturday, April 22, 2017

Earth day



My paintings of the Earth for the Earth Day

Earth Day

Today, aprilie 22 we celebrate the Earth Day so I decided to repost my drawing and paintings aboutthe Earth.
Care for the Earth, ballpoint pen drawing


Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Friday, April 14, 2017

The family

Yesterday I've made a painting about the family and the love that is uniting it under  the light of God

Thursday, April 13, 2017

An artist's view of the family




Yesterday I visited an exhibion of sculpture and graphics by Liviu Brezeanu and I can say I like his view of the family. Even if he is living here in Romania he has an inclusive view of the family and his art is promoting equality.
In his creations the spouses are equal and their love makes the family, feeding the seed of life

This art is about the essence, the concept of family in all of it's forms.

Liviu Brezeanu is a sculptor and a grafician. I also enjoy his pastels. He likes to make drawings about the love between two women, like I do





I've also made some drawings and paintings about the family. You can see the creations I am talking about below.




Tuesday, April 11, 2017

A moment of pure love

A moment of pure love

11.04.2017
23:50



I wish I was the blonde girl with a tiara made of violets in this drawing. I wish I could hold the woman I love in my arms now instead of just dreaming about her. I wish I could play in her hair while she is kissing 💋 me and my fingers in her hair make her want me more and kiss me wildly. I wish I could feel her breasts against mine. I can only dream and make drawings about her while I am not allowed to love ❤ her

Sunday, April 9, 2017

The story of two girls in love

Girls usually love to paint 🎨 princesses. Yesterday I've made this painting of two princesses in love in a dream garden 🏡 that is blooming during the spring imagining I am the one wearing the green dress and flowers 💐 in my hair and she, my love is touching my shoulder so softly. I can see the love and desire in her eyes, I can feel it in her touch. It's so sad this is not real. It's so sad I am still lonely in the story of my life and I wonder where my princess might be

Friday, April 7, 2017

Prunus persica flowers

Last week I've seen a beautiful Prunus persica tree with it's pink flowers so I decided to make this painting

Soulmates and twinflames



These are my paintings about soulmates, twin flames and love. I've made these paintings hoping, she, the one I dream of, is somewhere in this world and one day I will meet her

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

My drawings and paintings of the Earth



The beauty of our blue planet has inspired me to make these drawings and paintings. These are my drawings and paintings that contain the image of the Earth

Monday, April 3, 2017

Viola sororia

This is my painting of a Viola sororia flower, Sappho's favorite flower.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Not allowed to hold her hand

I wish I could hold her hand but I am not allowed to.

 I wish I could be with her but I am not allowed to. I have to live alone in this hateful society and that s why Ițve been troubled since highschool.
 These days senators Ioana Denes and Codin Stefanescu have said that same sex couples should not be allowed to hold hands in public spaces in Romania. These words have hurt me deep inside. I am so affraid they want to make russian style anti-gay laws.
Here in Romania people are very homophobic and it s almost impossible for a woman to be in a relationship with another woman. My longest relationship lasted for only 6 weeks. Even my parents hate me because I am a lesbian and, after my right to inherit the house has been denied by my relatives, now I have to leave the parental house and live on my own, just like someone who had nothing, no parents, no house, nothing. Soon they will just throw me out of the house.
I wish I could live a normal life in a free modern inclusive society. I dont wanna cry and suffer alone all the time. I dont wanna be troubled anymore.
I ve made these drawings and paintings dreaming of the love I am not allowed to have, while I wanted to be with a woman I love, to feel her loving presence nexto to me, to hold her hand, to travel with her, to enjoy every moment with her.