Showing posts with label teenage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teenage. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

I don't wanna be troubled again


I don't wanna be troubled again, like I was in high-school when I've made this drawing imagining I can love and be loved like anyone else does, just imagining because I was not allowed to really live my life. By that time I was so lonely, being rejected and even bullied by the kids at school because I was not dating boys. I've never liked boys.  I was just 15 when I've made this. This drawing was like a file in diary to me and now it's a memory and that's why I keep it like I do with all of my drawings. Even if they have no artistic and estetic value they have a sentimental value for me. It was the spring of 2002. By that time the drawing was hidden. I was afraid. I was even afraid of my parents. I was so scared and miserable all the time but somewhere deep within there was hope, hope things will change and we will live in a better world, hope someday I will find that love and feel it, not only dream and make drawings about it, hope one day she will come into my life.

Things have changed slowly here in Romania but I am still single, living with my parents. I've never been with someone for more than one month. People have become more tolerant allowing me to live without feeling that fear and despair all the time and I've managed to have my own social life and make some friends who accept me as I am e but I still cannot be in  a relationship with a woman because here in Romania two women cannot be together. The only form of cohabitation recognized by the state is marriage between a man and a woman. These is still some fragile progress but I am so afraid things might go backwards now when christian right forces rise here in Romania and they want to change the constitution.
I am so afraid and I don't want to suffer again like I did before. I don't wanna go back to that. It was so hard for me to get out of it.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Promisses, then and now

Promises oil on canvas painting
12 years ago I've made the ball point pen drawing below. I was just a teenager dreaming about the love she was not allowed to have. I've made this imagining it's only me and her next to the sea. The city with it's people is far away and it's just the two of us. She, the blond woman with short hair in the right, is giving me a flower, the flower of love, promising me she will love me forever. Blue butterflies fly around us and dolphins play in the sea water.
Now, after so many years, I've made an oil on canvas painting about this teenage dream story 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Old painting, old dream of love

I've made this painting 10 years ago. I was 16. This is one of my teenage dreams of love, me and her next to the column in the ocean, far from the city, far away from other people, just the two of us